A Word You Should Definitely Avoid in a Fight

If you are having a fight with a loved one, are there things that you try to avoid saying? If not, there should be.

The word ‘but’ is a very destructive word to use in an argument or in an important conversation with someone. This is because hearing the word ‘but’ puts people on the defense and causes them to only look at the negative parts of what you are saying.

Rather than using the word ‘but’, say ‘and’ when you are speaking with someone you love.

Even small words can make a big difference in your communication.

Saying ‘but’ is a quick way to delete everything loving and positive you have said in the past. Sometimes you may not realize how powerful the word ‘but’ is. However, it causes people to tighten up and shut down.

Here are a few examples of conversations that include the word ‘but’ that likely end up going in the wrong direction.

Here are some classic examples of what I mean:

The Speaker: “I really like you, but I am very frustrated.”

The Listener:”So, you don’t really like me?”

Even if the listener doesn’t come out and say it, they likely feel like they are being slighted.

The good thing is, there are some better words to use than ‘but’. Try saying ‘and’ instead. Can you see the difference?

“I really like you, and I am very frustrated.”

This statement is not negating the fact that the speaker like the person to whom they are speaking. It simply adds something to that statement. Even though what they are saying is negative, it is not taking away from the fact that the speaker likes the listener.

There are likely a lot of instances when you do not mean to sound negative, but what you are saying comes off as being negative. Even if it so little as changing one word, how you speak can completely change people’s perception of you and their interpretation of what you are saying.

It is also important to be aware of words that replace the word ‘but’ while still saying the same thing. For example:

“You did a really good job, however,…”
“You have said some good things, yet…”

You may find all of this to be a bit of a stretch because this little word and its accompanying attitude is a deeply ingrained part of our culture and language.

Of course, there are some great ways of using ‘but’ as long as you know how it will impact the other person’s comprehension of what you are saying. For example, you can use it when you are acknowledging something that is negative while also wanting to emphasize a positive alternative. Here are a few instances where that could be true:

“That wasn’t your best work, BUT I know you will improve in the future.”

“We did not do a great job on that project, BUT I think we can learn from our mistakes and still get something out of this experience.”

“This project is going to be very difficult, BUT I know we can pull it together.”

The point is, good intentions are not always enough to offset bad wording. It is best to be very cognizant of how you speak to other people so your words are not up for interpretation and people are always aware that you are coming from a good place when you give them feedback or make comments about something that is going on.

Think before the next time you say ‘but’ and decide if it is truly necessary before you say it, just to make sure that you are coming across exactly as you are meaning to.

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Men’s Haircuts That Are in Style

Are you looking for a new look, but not quite sure where to go with it? Haircut trends change pretty quickly, which is fine since you are able to re-style your hair relatively often as it grows. There are certainly some haircuts that will never go out of style, but this year, there are great trends that are all perfect for looking clean-cut and presentable. Here are three men’s haircuts that are in style for 2018.

1. Long and Clean Layers

This look allows men to have a business-looking, yet slightly casual style. Men have been wearing their hair longer in recent years, which has inspired this particular style. Giving the hair a layered appearance can be done on any kind of hair, from straight to wavy to curly.

If you want this style, the best thing to tell you barber is that you don’t want you hair to come above your jawline and it can be as long as your shoulders. This cut is best for men who have full volume hair, but if you have a slight recession, you can still look great with this haircut. Make sure to get your hair cut about every eight weeks as it grows out. If you do not get your hair cut enough, it will not grow out properly and will lose its intended shape. A barber will be able to add the right texture to your cut so it always looks fresh.

Talk to your barber about what kind of products you will need to best suit your hair type. Some common products that are great for maintaining your hair through the day are a high-quality moisturizing cream or a simple styling mousse to provide lightweight control and a bit of texture.

2. A Faded Look

A faded haircut is really great for men who have hair that is beginning to get thin. This type of style will make thinning hair look thicker. One of the problems with thinning hair is that if you let it grow long, others are able to see through it and it can make it look even thinner than it actually is. However, if you cut it short, keeping your hair close to your scalp, it will make it look like your hair is thicker and has some great volume.

Ask your hair stylist for a tight fade in order to get this look. The amount of hair that you want to leave on the top of your head is a personal preference, but it is best to make sure that it is faded pretty high up on the sides. Finish off your look using a light cream or a high-quality smoothing oil to keep the shape without any added volume or product residue. Try: Majesticel Argan Oil Serum for Hair ($15, Buy It Here).

The Classic Crop: Always on trend

One medium-length trend (that has carried over from past years) is to keep the sides short with a longer top. ?This look is best on men with medium to thick hair, and it works on both straight and curly textures,? Priano says. Ask your barber to use a clipper on the sides and back, and he or she will switch to scissors on top. You?ll need three inches or more up top to pull it off. Use a paste with medium to high hold to style the look and to give your hair

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